What Men and Women Really Want in a Partner
Style Editor Sherell Williams

All men are pigs who think about sex 24/7 and women are nothing but hypersensitive, chatterboxes with shopping addictions. Sound familiar? It should. Those are only two of the generalizations that we as men and women are socially wired to believe in today’s society.

We hear the stereotypes from our friends and coworkers, watch them performed on our favorite TV shows and read all about them in anything from a textbook to a magazine.

She thinks every single man on the planet wants a blonde hair, blue eyed, long legged, big breasted, Barbie-esque, trophy girlfriend.

He thinks every woman wants a sensitive, male model, romance novel archetype kind of guy who will cry with them during The Notebook and buy their tampons.

The truth is neither knows what the other really wants. So what are men and women looking for in a partner?

A survey conducted among George Mason University students revealed that the top five traits both sexes look for when considering a mate are self-confidence, appearance, conversational ability, humor and maturity. “Confidence is great,” said senior Carla Valdes. “If a guy is confident, I wonder why and usually want to know more about him.” Confident individuals have a solid sense of who they are and do not need their partner to tell them how valuable they are.

According to Berenecea Johnson-Eanes, Ph.D., educator and president of the consulting firm Human Potential in Atlanta, “Confidence is what makes a person more balanced and able to manage the challenges and negotiations that a relationship is bound to bring.”

As superficial as it sounds, looks are important. Physical appearances make up part of the chemistry of attraction between men and women. Both sexes want someone who will take pride in their appearance. The features that men and women find attractive in one other vary greatly, but proper hygiene and grooming habits are essential and appealing to both sexes.

The ability to hold a conversation and communicate with one another is important to both men and women.

“A woman who can hold a conversation that is not just shallow banter between two people is attractive,” said junior John Mauler.

Keeping a conversation going is only one part of effective communication; the first part is initiating the conversation. The introduction is one of the most important parts of a good conversation.

The way you approach someone will help them decide whether or not they like you enough to continue engaging in conversation. “If a guy can break the ice and make me comfortable, I wonder why and usually want to know more about him,” said senior Natalie Bedell.

A great way to break the ice is through humor. The students polled ranked humor as another sought after trait when considering a mate. Having a sense of humor is important to both men and women. The ability to laugh at yourself is attractive because it shows the other person that you don’t take yourself too seriously and can lighten up.

Laughter can also build up that initial trust in the beginning of a relationship in addition to being healthy. Humor has been proven to relieve stress and less stress means less health problems.

Men and women both find maturity to be attractive in a prospective partner. Nobody wants their boyfriend or girlfriend to act like a six year old every time they’re out in public.

While there is a big difference between what men and women think the other wants and what they are really looking for, there is a general consensus among both sexes about what traits are important for a potential mate to have. The problem these days is finding that someone who’s got what you’re looking for.