Albums That Make You Hate or Love Christmas
Stff Reporter Andy Minor

Christmas is a magical time of year full of food, family, presents, snow and wonderful music. There are tons of great recordings out there of musicians singing their favorite carols and during the Christmas season, we get to pull out those CDs and get ourselves into the season. But not every Christmas album is as enjoyable as turkey and gifts under the tree. Sometimes you wind up with the equivalent of musical fruitcake; an album that almost makes you wish Christmas never happened.  Below I have listed some of the worst musical Christmas experiences to date, but in keeping with the holiday spirit, I've also listed some of the best. I can't be completely negative because, well, it's the holidays.

Hanson, Snowed In
MmmBop, and Bah Humbug. Only three words can properly express how I feel about this album: musical war crime. It has your lackluster acoustic snow-driven ballad, your abysmal 'hard rocking' rendition of “Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree,” and every single track reeks of the record industry’s super-produced sound. Santa would be ashamed.

Twisted Sister, A Twisted Christmas
Sister frontman Dee Snyder should have kept his holiday spirit out of the recording studio. I honestly couldn’t think of a worse way to celebrate Christmas than with five grown men who have big hair and wear lots of makeup. Any song on this album is an absolute chore to listen to: it takes everything that is great about Christmas and destroys it with a swift blow of bad 80s metal.

Hall & Oates, Home For Christmas
While H&O's “Rich Girl” and “Kiss On My List” are delightful 80s pop singles, listening to their Christmas album is a laborious task. Whether it’s adding faux-country twang to “It Came Upon a Midnight Clear” or butchering “The Christmas Song” by adding Kenny G-esque sax honking, I'm glad this album was left out of my stocking.

Various Artists, Pokemon: Christmas Bash
Now, I know this really isn't marketed for adults, and I know I really shouldn't take it seriously, but I will forbid my future children from ever listening to this monstrosity. Whoever wrote “I'm Giving Santa a Pikachu for Christmas” should be sentenced to life in prison. 

Rosie O'Donnell, A Rosie Christmas
I was appalled when I discovered this album and I was almost beside myself when I realized that there is a sequel to it. Rosie does duets with Cher, Celine Dion, Elmo and more, all the while sounding like she's singing under water. If I were in charge at Sony records, I'd make sure whoever produced this never got to celebrate Christmas ever again.

Merry Christmas (The Good Ones):
Duke Ellington, The Nutcracker Suite
In no way do these recordings discredit the wonderful ballet music by Tchaikovsky, but they add a little bit more of a modern fare to the Christmas classic. The Duke twists these tunes around in all sorts of interesting ways, and it's fascinating to hear some of your favorite Christmas songs with a sack full of jazz cheer.

James Brown, A Soulful Christmas
I'm a guy who likes to celebrate Christmas in style and the Godfather of Soul delivers this jam-packed collection better than Santa ever could. From The Drifters to The Miracles, we learn how to celebrate Christmas with a little bit of soul and a little bit of funk. It looks like “the Hardest Working Man in Show Business” doesn't even get to take Christmas off.

Jethro Tull, The Jethro Tull Christmas Album
Full of minstrels, good cheer, jazz-fusion and the eerie singing of Mr. Ian Anderson, this Christmas album is easily one of my favorites. It's just so original and catchy; I can never get enough of it. I'm even tempted to listen to it outside of the holiday season, but somehow I don't think that would feel right.

The Rat Pack, Christmas With the Rat Pack
I throw this album on my list because I can rarely decide if I like Dino's or Blue Eye's Christmas album more. Throw some Sammy Davis Jr. in for style points and you've got the most swingin' Christmas on your block. Whoever can't appreciate these incredible singers deserves coal in their stockings.

Vince Guaraldi Trio, A Charlie Brown Christmas
The Charlie Brown Christmas is probably my favorite holiday TV special, and I owe that all to Mr. Guaraldi. These laid-back jazz shuffles are pretty much synonymous with Christmas at this point, and I couldn't be happier. If you don't own this album it should be first on your wish list.