School is back in session, and you are both single and ready to mingle. You go to a party and start hitting on a cute girl with glasses.
Somewhere in the conversation, she mentions her favorite movie is Cyrano de Bergerac and, as you shamefully tell her yours is The Waterboy, you realize that she is way out of your league (academically, at least).
For those of you who spent your high school years watching Oprah and eating Oreos instead of reading Descartes and analyzing the finer characteristics of Fauvist paintings, here are some words that you can throw around in your conversation to make you look like less of a dummy.
Anomalous means out of the ordinary or not normal. For example, you could say, “Listening to the guy at the bar dressed in Civil War regalia is an anomalous way to get dating advice.”
Incorrigible is used to describe something that cannot be corrected. Use it to say something like, “My calculus teacher said there were so many mistakes on my exam, it was practically incorrigible.”
Describing something as lugubrious means it is mournful or gloomy. “The kid at Starbucks with the My Chemical Romance T-shirt is looking especially lugubrious today.”
An enigma is something puzzling or mysterious. Try it in a sentence like, “The female reproductive system will always be an enigma to me.”
Pulchritudinous is just another word for beautiful. But unless the girl you are hitting on is a former spelling bee world champion, you will probably want to avoid calling her pulchritudinous.
Congratulations! You’ve taken the first step on your journey of faking your way through a long, meaningful relationship. Go get ‘em, slugger.
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