Dear Michatalie,

I’ve been hearing mostly negative things about you girls. But as crazy as you are, I think it’d be interesting to get your advice on my situation.

Here’s the thing, I’m a sophomore living in one of the Chesapeake dorms and I live across the hall from one of the hottest guys I’ve ever seen.

To be honest, I don’t know what to say or do whenever he’s around and I really wanna gain the courage to tell him how much I like him. I know that’s forward and a little creepy, but I’ve never had the guts to tell someone how I feel about them. What do you think is the best way to get his attention?

Shy Girl in Chesapeake

Dear Shy Girl in Chesapeake,

What’s his name? Seriously, Michatalie needs to get in on this. No, really though, this is the cutest thing! It’s funny that you came to us because Michatalie experienced the exact same thing last year when we lived in Northern Neck.

No worries, we have a couple options for you. The best way to grab his attention is to leave your door wide open and prance around in just a sports bra and booty shorts. Ladies, if you have bad cellulite, you might want to stick with leggings.

If you’re feeling a bit more subtle, you could always go for the anonymous note under the door. Michatalie was infamous for leaving our secret admirer a love note and then ding-dong ditching. Please make sure it’s the right room though, you wouldn’t want a grenade or landmine thinking someone would actually want them. How embarrassing.

If you really want to seal the deal, we recommend that you ask him to “help move furniture.” Lure him into your lair, and jump on him like a spider monkey.

Michatalie guarantees you that one or even all of these will give you the results that you’re looking for. If the mission fails, please cuntact us and we’ll have to discuss more extreme measures.

May the force be with you and don’t even think about fucking this up.

Any issues and concerns about life, college, sex, money problems or food? Let Michatalie know on their fan page at