Sometimes Ben & Jerry’s pint of Chunky Monkey is glued to our hands. For others, Sam Adams is the culprit. But most of the time, the addiction is not a drug, it’s the person we love — or think we love. It’s the phone calls we can’t ever decline to answer or the incessant thoughts of those people that fill the void in our minds. Everyone has a weakness, and sometimes we succumb to those downfalls. But when we are always falling prey to the calls of Ben, Jerry, Sam or our ex, then we have to begin to ask why.

There’s a substantial difference between making mistakes and making it a lifestyle. What’s more important is recognizing it’s human nature to be faulty, but it is not a justification for continuing an exhausting lifestyle that depletes you of self-respect.

I’ll be honest; regaining one’s sense of self-respect is not easy by any means. Contrarily, it takes loads of patience and love. Losing respect for oneself is one of the most abhorrent things I can imagine. From there, lack of self-love is born, and shortly after maintaining your self-interest plummets to the bottom of the to-do list. You begin to feel a sense of self-loathing because you sense no control over your actions. “It feels like I can’t let go of that damn spoon,” or “I can’t stop dialing his number.” Whatever the “mistake” you’re struggling with, I can say that if you do not conquer this little monster before it becomes a beast, you’ll regret it.

Those in Anonymous Alcoholics know what the first step is: admitting you have a problem. This step takes a lot of courage, so you can keep it to yourself. Just fully accept the fact that you have no self-control when it comes to Ben, Jerry or Sam. Nike said it best: Just do it. After that, don’t dwell on your recent “mistakes.” The longer you dwell on them, the more you will succumb to feelings to negativity further propelling you to continue the same lifestyle. Finally, do it slowly. Let go of your empty gestures at happiness.

At the end of the day, these weaknesses do not reflect your greatness as an individual. Contrarily, they illustrate your desire to be fulfilled. This desire should be discharged by undertaking tasks that you truly enjoy. However, many of us turn to empty solutions that relieve our desire quickly but leave that void emptier than before.

The reason we feel depleted of our self-respect is because of our blind attempts at achieving happiness in a world that cannot satiate that desire. The overall idea to truly understand: Your actions can make that void grow or disappear altogether. The only way to truly fill the gaping hole is to fill it with love of self.

Just do that.