Evan Benton, Staff Writer
Once upon a time, while watching CNN (actually, it was most likely VH1 or NFL Network) I heard the unmistakable sound of a large truck backing up outside my window.
Getting up with a groan, I walked over to my window and saw an enormous truck with the word “NAKED” emblazoned along its side. After parking awkwardly in a space much too small for its size, the driver exited the vehicle and began to unload box after box of similarly-titled boxes. What was in the boxes? Bottles of juice.
That was almost a year ago, but I still remember leaving my room in a furious rush of curiosity, wondering what in God’s name “naked juice” was supposed to be, and why they were putting it near food.
I found out that NAKED is a brand of unadulterated, all-natural and organic juice. And the truck driver proved to be a good spokesman for the Santa Monica, Calif. company, giving me a free shirt (albeit grossly oversized) and a nice green hat.
Both having the word NAKED boldly written on the fabric proved to be great attention-getters.
The One-Stop Patriot Shop in Chesapeake offers a wide spectrum of NAKED’s many varieties. Different flavors include such conventional ones as “O.J.” and “Strawberry Kiwi Kick,” and more exotic flavors like “Watermelon Chill” and “Chai Spiced Cider.”
Each 15.2-ounce drink promises “a pound of fruit in every bottle!” whether it be apples, oranges, pomegranates or watermelons. And at least one drink has all four.
But each one of those 15.2-ounce drinks is $4.
I’m not a cheap man. I merely enjoy the challenge of shopping well for less money. And here at George Mason University, where new ways to bleed you dry are planned every day, one should watch what they spend before they spend it all.
I have Freedom Rings, the $1,600 depleting sum food option that’s the only Freedom left in town. And between $9 meals at Southside and frequent shopping sprees at the campus’ convenience stores, you better believe that goes fast.
So when I go buy a bottle of NAKED, I think: for those five to 10 swigs of juice, I could have gotten a hoagie at Gold Rush, four tacos at Taco Bell, or two 15-ounce bottles of Fuze and Gold Peak tea. Come on . . .
But, I chose juice. And Lord, did I get good juice.
NAKED tastes great. The fruit tastes as if it was taken from the vine and bottled that morning. It’s fruit, pure and simple, for all of us to see—naked, for lack of a better word.
What I’m saying—and I know I say a lot—is that if I want juice, or have a taste for some fresh fruit and can’t find any, I’d buy nothing but NAKED.
I’m not telling you to go crazy—having NAKED parties with your friends and spending your Freedom overdosing on mangosteen—but if you did, I’m saying that I wouldn’t blame you. “Mighty Mango” made me rethink my life.
Money is money. It’s important to be thrifty. But quality is also quality. And at a college campus rampant with poor examples of this, my advice is to grab onto what’s good and not let go.
Get NAKED, Mason.
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