I wear a lot of hats on campus. I’m a senior studying English and journalism. I’m president of our school’s chapter of Circle K International and I’m the opinion editor here at Broadside. I love everything I do, but the truth is sometimes I wonder if I’ve undertaken more than I can handle.
I’m not here to start complaining about the weight of the world and all that stuff, trying to claim that my life is hard. I’m sure that my daily struggles and dealings pale in comparison to what many of you face on a daily basis. Bare with me though, if I don’t get all this out I might explode.
I transferred to George Mason University in the fall of last year. Since that time I have been enrolled in classes every semester — including each of the summer ones. My class schedule is always packed and, as is the case with everyone else, all of my professors convene weekly to ensure that my assignments are always due within 24 hours of each other, and that they’re all exceptionally in-depth and long.
I’ve been sitting right around a 3.0 GPA since the spring and I’m not happy with that. Yet, I just don’t have the time to invest the way I want to.
When I was in high school, and I first started dating a girl, my father said to me, “Something’s got to give.” He was referring to the fact that I was a student and an athlete, that I worked and had a girlfriend. I never believed him then, but the older I get, the more I realize that eventually something will give.
I juggle all of the things I mentioned earlier, plus trying to see friends and family who are three hours away, and I’ve recently started seeing someone exclusively.
I feel the constant weight of all the things that depend on me, and lately, I’ve been thinking about how easy it would be just say eff everyone and everything and just worry about myself.
But then, someone had to go and say something really encouraging to me, that bastard. The person basically asked me if, come May 19, when I’m crossing the stage to collect my fake diploma, do I want to look back and say, “Yup, took the easy way out.” Or do I want to cross that stage and finally breathe easy because I made it, because I achieved more than I thought I was capable of.
And that’s the point isn’t it? To test ourselves, to see what we are capable of; that’s what it’s all about. If every time the world gets tough we decide to quit and give up, then we’ll never be satisfied with ourselves and we’ll never achieve anything.
Maybe that’s my whole point in sharing this, because I know I can’t be the only one. I really hope that all of you struggling with everything you’ve chosen to take on see the finish line. I know I do; now I just have to get there. Fingers crossed.
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