I’ve got a new drinking game. Take a drink every time one of your friends posts something over-exaggerated, irrelevant or flat-out uninformed during the presidential debates. Have 9-1-1 on speed dial; it’ll be a wild night. But, I digress.
This campaign season has seen the emergence of a new drinking tradition. The presidential debate drinking games swirling around the internet are all the rage among the college crowds.
For those of you who have no idea what I am referring to, listen up.
Two men take the stage for a friendly debate. The nation is watching. You are prepared with a case of ice-cold brew.
Beforehand, you have Googled some version of the fascinating game, and are well-versed in the rules. Lights, camera, action. Mr. Schieffer, please begin.
As the rules state, you will take a drink every time one of the candidates says a key word or phrase. For example: Romney says “Obamacare” — drink.
Obama mentions 47% — drink. One of the candidates interrupts the other — chug! There are varying rules, but you get the point.
By the end, you’re three sheets to the wind, and left with little idea of who even won — blackout.
With a flurry of logistical fallacies, the candidates are competing to one up each other with words that are instantly tweeted.
Romney mentions something about Big Bird, Obama steps in to defend the oversized fowl; this type of dialogue is the meat and bones of the presidential race.
It’s not a government secret that the American public is a lost and starving herd when it comes to politics.
So what does the core of America’s educated people do to make sense of the jargon? We drink. We find the most entertaining way to consume the rhetoric being spewed in our face. So what if you are completely unaware of the candidate’s political agenda?
There’s nothing in the world you can’t distill once you’ve downed five beers in three and a half minutes.
Of course, the irony couldn’t be more beautiful. In the creation of a presidential debate drinking game, we have exposed an ugly truth. The recent presidential debates are hardly worth calling debates.
I prefer to think of them as piggish mud wrestling competitions. The moderator opens the gates and the nasty swine have at it for an hour and a half. With a bit of luck, one will come away with the plastic hotdog trophy.
The gibberish we are presented is more like a sporting event than politics. Naturally, sporting events and booze go hand in hand. This is the ticket.
This is why something so important – like governing a democracy- has been turned to poppycock. Our mocking drinking games are merely a reflection of this truth.
With all that said, there is a bittersweet aspect to our fun. Even with the dung piling up, people are getting involved. In my opinion, watching the debates while getting blitzed is better than not watching at all.
With every other media outlet sucking up our time, I’d rather voters become drunkenly informed.
At least they are seeing it firsthand and have the chance to make an opinion for themselves, instead of distilling random information via Facebook.
Tonight, Romney and Obama will once again parade on stage in what is sure to be a fantastic display of schoolyard politics.
A revised version of the debate drinking game will make its way onto the internet by the start of the debates – 9 p.m. I hope you will tune in, even if it is for the thrill of a good drunken weeknight. Cheers!
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