I’m a freshman and I ended up getting a random roommate. I’ve been having issues with him since I started rushing my frat. He’s super awkward and always wants to hang out, even though all I want to do is chill with my boys.
Dear Michatalie, I’ve been hearing mostly negative things about you girls. But as crazy as you are, I think it’d be interesting to get your advice on my situation. Here’s the thing, I’m a sophomore living in one of the Chesapeake dorms and I live across the hall from one of the hottest guys I’ve ever seen. To be honest, I don’t know what to say or do whenever he’s around and I really wanna gain the courage to tell him how much I like him. I know that’s forward and a little creepy, but I’ve never had the guts to tell someone how I feel about them. What do you think is the best way to get his attention? Sincerely, Shy Girl in Chesapeake Dear Shy Girl in Chesapeake, What’s his name? Seriously, Michatalie needs to get in on this. No, really though, this is the cutest thing! It’s funny that you came to us because Michatalie experienced the exact same thing last year when we lived in Northern Neck. No worries, we have a couple options for you. The best way to grab his attention is to leave your door wide open and prance around in just a […]
Thank you, diligent readers, for the recent influx of letters to Broadside regarding the vulgar and apparently hard-to-love columnist duo, Michatalie. There hasn’t been this much buzz surrounding Broadside since Alan Moore began penning columns for us. So far, the pair has made us laugh, cringe and drop our jaws as they let freshmen know the major do’s and don’ts of college and told readers how to achieve the perfect ChipOrgasm — much to the chagrin of many of you readers. Here’s what we think our readers are missing about Michatalie’s column: they are not being serious. Yes, they are vulgar, use foul language and aim to shock, but they do it all for laughs. So when they say you should attend every fraternity party in one night or not purchase $5 veggie cups, they want you to laugh with them and have enough sense to know you shouldn’t actually aim to be the latest girl in a guy’s beer-stained bed. In a letter to the editor this week, John Morgan questions Broadside’s standards since we choose to print this column. Yes, we do have standards, ones that we try to uphold vehemently every week. We swear by our style […]
Love us or hate us, we’re still an obsession. Warning: If you don’t like or have never tried Chipotle, then STFU (shut the fuck up) and GTFO (get the fuck out), bishes. It’s evident that Chipotle, aka “Chip,” is practically a second home to Mason students. But what does it mean to truly reach the ultimate ChipOrgasm? Michatalie is your guide to pleasing your taste buds and getting more bang for your fuck – we mean buck. We will start off in order of importance. You must follow this step by step or else you’ll miss out on the heavenly sex-in-your-mouth taste of the burrito bol. Notice how we didn’t say burrito, that’s because burrito bols pwn burritos. If you’re a burrito lover, you’re totes missing out. To start off your journey, always ask for a lid in order to shake the bol til all the sexgredients are nicely tousled. Sweet-talking plays a major role in building up to your ChipOrgasm. There’s a difference between, “Can I get a little bit more ___,” and “Can you add more ____.” Saying, “add” or “extra” leads to less cash in your wallet. When you ask for a little bit of something, it […]
ANNOUNCEMENT: Merger between C2M and Broadside 
Mason Week celebrates road to Cabrera’s inauguration 
Women’s lacrosse look forward to A10 after winless season 
Ten Minute Play Festival brings talent to the stage 
Study abroad offers students a chance to work with the African Wildlife Foundation in Kenya
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