Dear Michatalie,

I recently started dating a guy who goes to Mason, but is from another state and will be going out of town for all of Christmas break. I want to be faithful over break, but I feel like since the relationship is so new and we’re going to be apart for so long I might cheat on him with an ex-boyfriend from home. Should I break things off before break or just wait and see what happens?


Dear DazedAndConfused,

Think with your vag and not your heart – that is the best advice we can give you. Christmas break is over a month long, so is your new playtoy worth the wait? If so, we recommend getting a vibrator (MVC in Springfield is the best place to go for all your pleasurable desires) and use it while watching your favorite “adult” site.

If you think you can’t contain yourself, what your boyfriend doesn’t know won’t kill him. Was the sex that good with your ex? Seems like it if you can’t stop thinking about him. Michatalie says (butt)-fuck it and take a ride on the wild side. Happy hornydays – we mean holidays! – and Merry Chrismukkah to all.




  1. Ethan Fecht says:

    how is this article placed in a (trying to be) serious publication?

  2. Anonymous says:

    You could always ummm….not cheat on him? I mean…what a stupid question.

  3. HOW IS THIS ALLOWED IN BROADSIDE? This is not journalism by any means. Get this slutshow out of our school newspaper, please. Unless of course that’s the reputation we want here at George Mason.