Everything changes when we see a handsome man. Sitting on the subway, staring out of the window into the fleeting darkness. We take a second longer to look, hopeful that he might glance our way and smile. Then, the entire ride and our happiness is solely based on whether or not he looks over, smiles and thinks of some cute line to introduce himself. It’s quite sad, actually. A woman’s life almost revolves around this chance of meeting the hopeful bachelor who wants to be in a committed relationship and will one day want to settle down, have children and be wealthy enough to have a pool in his backyard. And where exactly is this okay? Yup: in the fairy tales we grew up reading and the movies we become old watching.

So, you’re at the local coffeehouse reading the paper as your attention slowly fades and enters another dimension where only he exists. You feign amusement in the paper just to show that you’re engaging enough to pique his interest. He finishes his cup, attention directed to the keystrokes of his laptop, and then he quickly gets up to leave, as if he was never there, a figment of your imagination. You take a left hook to the ego and a right jab to the heart, thinking that you weren’t “this” or “that” enough for him to take notice. If only you had paid attention to the damn paper you wouldn’t have felt so bad.

At one point, women needed men to provide everything for them. Well, we have reached a point in our metamorphosis as individuals where we can be holistically independent. Therefore, we should feel confident enough not to need a man to be the center of our happiness. Rather, the simplicities of life should be what make us content. It is the time we take to live for ourselves, whether it is one hour of yoga in the morning or a good book right before bed. If we direct our focus on heightening our sense of self-worth and fulfillment, we begin to feel complete and integrated and that is where true happiness is sourced, not in the arms of some man in the confines of some bed. A man becomes aware of a woman who values and respects herself down to her painted toenails. She should always allow space for that great man to stand next to her. Regardless if that man wants to be a part of your life or not, continue to merrily skip down the paved sidewalk on your way to work.

Unfortunately, many women are content with living in a delusional cloud, where there is a perfect prince who will ride along and rescue us princesses from this terrible life. They console themselves thinking, “If we just wait, if we just place all our hopes and dreams in the cradle of a relationship, we shall prosper romantically.”

Well, we have been misled by Disney and their flawless characters. We no longer have to live in a world where blue birds and black kettles talk to us.