You know what really grinds my gears? The Johnson Center. It is an utter pit of misery due to a chaotic combination of the people, the noise, the people, the copious amounts of trash strewn about, the people, the weird games constantly being played and did I mention the people? It has got to be one of the worst places on campus.

First, let’s talk about the extreme noise level. Why is it always so high? The excessive volume makes it almost impossible to accomplish anything. There are always at least three kinds of people in your immediate vicinity who contribute to this issue. The first sort is the people who feel the need to share multiple YouTube videos with anyone and everyone possible. These people seem to never have invested in a pair of earphones like a normal person and apparently love Britney Spears, farm animals and old Dragon Ball Z video clips. The second kind of people are closely related to the first. They’re the ones who listen to their music at full volume and also seemingly have never heard of earphones. This means that you get to listen to every word and note of every song of whichever weird playlist they’ve got playing. The third kind are the guys who have to speak to everyone around them as loudly as possible. The volume of their voices and the strength of their vocal chords are truly impressive, but not so much when you’re trying to get through six chapters of Russian in the next hour and a half. These people are the absolute worst and only succeed in distracting you.

There is also an extreme amount of garbage lying about virtually everywhere. I’m not talking about those sad sacks who fall asleep at their tables and just look like pathetic mounds of garbage. I’m talking about actual, literal trash. There are carefully arranged mountains of it crowding almost every table, and it is often very revolting. I’m so happy that you were able to enjoy your Sangam, grape Gatorade, Vogue magazine, Sour Patch Kids, condoms, Pringles and 100-calorie Oreos, but please clean up your mess. That includes your dip spit bottle and your leftover sushi. Thanks.

Let’s not forget about the extracurricular activities constantly unfolding around you. Chinese checkers? Sure. Fantasy card games? Absolutely. Chess? All right. I’ve even seen games of football get started on the second floor. I mean, why is this necessary in the JC? Why can’t you play your games at home, or outside or in your friend’s dorm? Or literally anywhere besides a common study area where people are trying to get work done?

The very diverse population of the JC causes all of these issues. The people who plop themselves down in the JC range from regular old weird to absolutely crazy, and it somehow seems that you always get stuck between the most bizarre people in the entire place.

So what can you do about it? You could turn into a raging jackass and verbally assault anyone around you whom you find irritating. Or you could lie dormant and just let the waves of exasperation and infuriation wash over you without doing anything to counteract them. Or, probably the most realistic solution, you could just find a different location to attempt your massive piles of homework. Fenwick Library, Student Union Building I or your place of residence are almost guaranteed to be more conducive study environments than the JC. Come to think of it, Bikini Bottom, a World War I battlefield and a deep-sea trench also probably fall into that category. At least if you’re studying in Bikini Bottom you can munch on a Krabby Patty rather than poor-quality Chinese food.