You know what I love? I mean really just love? Being accosted on my way across campus.

Picture this: It’s an average day outside. I’m looking fresh with my dinosaur backpack, making my way to the Johnson Center  to not study or do anything productive.

Suddenly, a little commotion catches my eye. My nostrils dilate as I detect the scent of a pack of them on the prowl. It’s a group of those obnoxious protesters promoting this or protesting that. I stealthily conceal myself behind some bushes and watch the interactions take place.

Protester: “Hi — yes — have you heard about [insert stupid cause here]?”

Innocent passerby just trying to get to class unscathed: “No, I sure haven’t.”

Protester: “Well, let me just tell you a little bit about it. Here’s a pamphlet, which you will crumple up as soon as you walk away from me and throw in the nearest possible trashcan. We are out here today to make people more aware of blah blah blah blah….”

It’s at about this time, if not sooner, that you stop paying attention.

These people are the absolute worst. If you are one of them, I’m sorry, but no one likes you.

Now, let’s get back to me hiding in the shrubbery. I have a few options. I can sneak around these protesters and find a different way to get into the JC, which requires a little extra effort.

Or I can march directly into the danger zone, risking a conversation with one of them. This is the dilemma that plagues each of us every time we see these people lurking about.

Let’s talk about the pros and cons involved with this decision.

We’ll start with the alternative of finding another way to your destination, rather than walking through the prowling pack of protesters just waiting to leap on you and make you late.

The problem with this option is that, in rerouting your journey, you will probably end up being late anyways.

So if time is of the essence this is probably not the best choice for you.

Then again, you shouldn’t fool yourself into thinking that it might be beneficial for you to stroll straight through the scrum of bojanglers with your head held high.

It is not realistic for you to think that you will make it out untouched. You may think that if you don’t make eye contact, you’ll be safe. Think again.

Eye contact is helpful but not at all necessary for getting these people to creep on over and start talking to you about gun rights or abortion or some weird new religion.

So basically, when it comes to this set of circumstances, you have two choices: being late or being late after having your dignity stripped away by an uncomfortable conversation with a miserable protester.

I have been approached many times, and it is never a pleasant experience.

They also never seem to appreciate my sense of humor when it comes to asking inappropriate questions.

To those of you who make a habit of skulking around campus and pestering normal people, don’t be surprised when you get rude responses and short answers, or you are just blatantly ignored.

And if you’re an innocent victim just trying to make your way across campus, learn to expect to be bojangled at least once during your college career at George Mason University.

It happens. But no matter what, do not, under any circumstances, get involved in their cause.

Because what happens then is that you become one of them. You become a protester. And no one likes a protester.